Setting Goals and Intentions
“One day you finally knew
What you had to do, and began,...”
-Mary Oliver, The Journey*
As the new year commences, you may find yourself taking stock of what went well last year and what you could have done differently. Many of us do, and you may find yourself inspired to set some intentions or goals for your future.
What follows are a few strategies to help you be thoughtful about your aspirations and set yourself up for success.
Be Realistic - Take some time to truly think through what you hope to achieve and clearly define your goal. Are there ways to break things down into more specific, achievable chunks? Have you attempted this goal before? Be honest with yourself about what got in the way and think about how to prepare for those roadblocks ahead of time.
Put Time on Your Side - Beginnings of a new year, month or week can be particularly motivating to initiate new behaviors.** Take advantage of this phenomenon by initiating your plan at the start of a school or calendar year. You can also utilize time each morning to set an intention or goal for the day and set certain dates as goal posts for larger plans. For example, a fitness goal might be broken into parts, with a new focus for each month.
Track Your Progress - Keep a record of the intentions you set for yourself and document your efforts in meeting your goals. Whether you choose to write notes in a journal or track your plans on an electronic device, this record serves as space for reflection on your process along the way. It allows you to develop a better sense of what works and increases your likelihood of success. It may also help you to keep perspective on those days you find yourself falling short. A written record can help you remember that it is a marathon, not a sprint – one missed day does not negate all of your previous hard work or prevent you from trying again tomorrow.
Positive Reinforcement - Remember to celebrate your efforts and achievements, no matter how small. This can be as simple as taking a moment to tell yourself that you did a good job, grabbing a drink at a local cafe or watching the latest episode of your favorite show. Whatever you choose, the reward serves as a form of encouragement toward your desired outcome. With long term goals or particularly challenging steps, identify signposts along the way for marking your accomplishments and celebrate each of those wins with a reward.
Seek Support - Sharing a plan with a friend or family member may enhance your enjoyment of the process and increase your chances of follow-through. Sometimes that early morning trip to the gym feels a bit easier to face when you’re spending time with a friend. You can also commiserate on the challenges and celebrate the wins to keep each other on track.
Look for groups organized around shared interests in your community (at local shops, libraries, spiritual centers, etc.) or via social media. Groups allow members to exchange beneficial resources, support, and strategies for success.
Connecting with a mental health professional for individual therapy can also help you identify your goals and support you in developing and implementing a plan to achieve them. In fact, a lot of the suggestions here all happen in therapy and can be great levers of personal fulfillment and change.
Illumine Counseling offers individual, family, and group therapy to those impacted by illness or coping with grief and significant life changes. Contact us at 646-470-1231 or email us info@illuminecounseling.com for support.
References:
* Oliver, M. (1986). Dream Work. Boston, MA: Atlantic Monthly Press.
** Dai, H., Milkman, K. L., & Riis, J. (2014). The fresh start effect: temporal landmarks motivate aspirational behavior. Management Science, 60(10), 2563. https://doi-org.i.ezproxy.nypl.org/10.1002/jclp.1151